


Investigation Love: Deducting Detective Dates

by jesidres



Series: The Trials of Ryotaro Dojima [1]
Category: Persona 4
Genre: Bad Decisions, Bad Ideas, Blind Date, Crack, Fluff and Crack, Multi, Need Brain Bleach, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-03 07:24:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5281970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesidres/pseuds/jesidres
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yu's back for another school vacation, the team's back together, and just in time:  Nanako has an assignment for them.  Her Daddy's lonely now that she's got so many extra-curricular activities.</p><p>So now the Investigation Team has its most dangerous mystery to date: Finding a date for Ryotaro Dojima... whether he wants it or not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Investigation Love: Deducting Detective Dates

“Big Bro… I think Daddy’s lonely.”

Nanako had spoken up while the whole group was at Junes, under their usual awning, a few days after Yu had arrived back for summer vacation. While she had no doubt meant the comment to be a quiet aside to her cousin, the precise lull in the conversation had meant that most of the group heard Nanako’s concern.  
“Huh?”

“Really, Nanako-chan?”

“He did seem almost eager to host the surprise party for Yu last time… but I thought that was just him being nice…”

“Dojima-sempai? ...Lonely?” Naoto gazed downwards, no doubt gathering the evidence for or against such a conclusion in her mind. “It is true that since Adachi Tohru’s incarceration, Dojima-san has been a lot more quiet at the station. His superiors seem to be fine with letting him do his own investigations lately. I must admit until now I hadn’t even taken notice that they had failed to assign him a new partner as well, which given the betrayal of his last one, might seem wise, though it goes against procedure.”

“Huh?” Kanji repeated his original response to the news. Despite his new outlook and change in appearance, some things never changed.

“I remember how awful it felt when we came to the realization it was Adachi behind those attacks, right under our noses, and I barely knew him. Dojima-san had been his partner and friend… I never even thought how bad it must have been for him.” Yukiko glanced sadly off to the side. “He’s always been so...stoic about it, I assumed he had gotten over it, like we did.”

Nanako nodded, biting her lower lip. “Daddy’s been really great at home, helping me with my homework, doing more chores, even getting Mom’s piano out of storage for me to practice on! But… with piano practice, and sports and... and going to my friends’ houses, I can’t be there all the time with him.” Her bottom lip quivered. “My classmates talk about about their parents going out to dinner and watching games and talking to their friends. Daddy doesn’t do any of that.”

“Aw, man… here we’ve been, moaning about missing our leader, but we’ve at least had each other, right? We’ve even had fun with Nanako here and there. But...Dojima-san’s just got that big empty house with no one to talk to...I mean, besides you, Nanako, haha!” Chie laughed half heartedly, trying to cover up her own unease.

“Oof, yeah, that does sound lonely. Man, and here I thought I was miserable just because I didn’t have a date for the summer festival…. Dojima-san’s wife has been gone for...3, 4 years now?” Yosuke looked ashamed as he looked down at his can of TaP.

Nanako’s eyes lit up, and the entire Investigation Team could almost swear they could hear the gears grinding away in her cute little head. “Ohmygosh, Big Bro, that’s it!”

“Um, what is, Nanako-chan?” Somehow, a part of Yu knew this big idea of hers was a disaster in the making.

The young girl clapped her hands together and laughed. “We need to get my Daddy a date!”

The stunned silence that followed from the Investigation Team was quiet enough to hear a pin drop in the normally busy food court.

Yosuke was the first to speak. “Oooooh no. No way. Count me out. I am NOT getting involved in some hair brained scheme to set up Dojima-san.” He sliced his hand like one of his knives before one of the girls could make more than a short cooing noise (Rise, he suspected). “Unless you’ve forgotten, the dude’s a cop! We screw this up - and let’s face it, we would - and he could get us all arrested on trumped up charges for the better part of our lives! I’m too pretty for prison!”

“Nobody’s going to put your whiney ass in jail, Yosuke, sheesh. Think about someone besides yourself for once. Dojima-san has done a lot for us, and it would be nice if we could do something for him.” Chie grumbled. “Not that it matters....We don’t even have anyone we could set him up with. I mean, we’re teenagers! I can list the single adults I talk to on my fingers!”

“Chie is correct... it’s hard enough to talk to our peers about relationships, let alone our seniors…” Naoto tugged on the brim of her hat. “Though, if there was any of us who would know someone suitable as a paramour for Dojima, it would be you, Sempai. I seem to remember you mentioning a nurse you had met while working at the hospital. Would she be a suitable candidate for introduction?”

Yu shook his head. “Last I heard, Sayoko went to Africa to work for an aid program.”

“What about that mom you were helping with in daycare? Whassername….with the Yuuta kid? He’s been coming to my classes lately...” Kanji mumbled around another bite of his steak special.

Chie smacked younger boy upside the head with her fist. “Uh, hello? She’s still married?!?”

“Still the allure of a forbidden romance sounds nice...a lonely housewife and the hardboiled cop…” Rise sighed dreamily. Everyone else shivered at the only logical conclusion such a powder keg could create.

“Uhhh, Rise? This isn’t a drama on tv. Let’s not start any doomed romances, if we can help it?” Yosuke pressed his pointer finger between his eyebrows, deep in thought. “Hmm...are any of the teachers single? Like, what about Kashiwagi?”

The silence at the table was deafening. Yu’s eye twitched. Yukiko looked horrified. Chie recoiled in disgust. 

“Dude, what did Dojima-san ever do to you? That’s cruel, man, even for you.” Kanji shook his head, trying desperately to erase the nightmare the older boy had suggested.

The full weight of his own words seem to hit Yosuke. “Oh, man, I was just thinking out loud - I would never - that shit is just wrong! Nobody deserves the horror of Kashiwagi inflicted on them!”

Yukiko gently cupped her hands over Nanako’s ears. “First insulting her father with the idea of setting him up with that she-witch, now cursing in front of a child? For shame, Yosuke.”

Nanako giggled and shook her head. “It’s ok! Daddy says worse stuff when he forgets I’m in the room.”

Yosuke blanched at this information, but continued. “Anyways… this just proves my point. We are in no position to be playing matchmaker for Dojima, so let’s just drop it, right Yu?”

Yu didn’t respond at first, instead taking a moment to study Nanako’s sad little pout. If Nanako had learned anything over the last year, it was her talent in emotional blackmail.  
“Right. I’m sure if we keep at it, we’re bound to find some way to help Uncle out.”

Yosuke groaned. When Yu latched onto something, there was no letting go. “We’re going to die… I think I’d rather face Adachi and Izanami again….”

\----

Detective Ryotaro Dojima sneezed for the dozenth time in the last half hour. Damnit, he’d better not be coming down with a cold… He rubbed his temple in frustration. Turning back to the casefile in front of him, he tried his best to ignore the strange growing sensation of impending dread….He wasn’t sure why, but he suddenly felt he needed a drink or four.  
the older man could only hope Yu hadn’t gotten himself mixed up into some sort of trouble again...

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as an attempt to make a friend laugh for putting up with my naughty, nasty 'Dojima's a DILF' comments while playing Persona 4. Originally, this was supposed to be a cracky one-off, but the allure of torturing Dojima is proving hard to ignore...
> 
> If you have suggestions for awkward date partners, please let me know. All I got is the possible sequel: No Smoking in the Velvet Room.


End file.
